Change isn't such a scary thing

I have been through a lot of changes in the last 6 months.  I struggled with depression, kicked my ex out of my house, lost someone in my life, did a lot of work on my house, have my thyroid illness under control, lost weight i had struggled with, and was humiliated by someone i cared a lot about.  I'm still standing after all of that.  It may not seem like a lot, but i have to say it wasn't easy. 

I had to change a lot of my thinking.  I had to decided to take my illness more serious.  I went to the doctor and made them run more test.  Change some of my medication so that i would feel better.  I worked on losing weight which helped  with my illness as well.  My ex being out of my house also helped with the illness.  Stress can make it worse and him being gone has taken a lot of stress off me.  Him being gone also got me working on the house again and that took stress off too.

I go to therapy once a week.  The therapy has helped me with the understanding of the thyroid illness.  We talk about it and how i won't let it take over my life.  I allowed it to rule my life for far to long and it hurt far to much in my life.  So, this goes to show change isn't always scary it sometimes for the best.

The biggest change of all is my attitude towards myself and others.  I stopped believing in myself.  I don't remember when that happen, but i forgot how capable i am.  I know that i was to tired most of the time to fight back.  I couldn't fight my thought or others thoughts about me anymore.  When you have someone always in your face about the things you have done wrong or they feel you are doing wrong.  This tears you apart.  Have someone talk to you about your weight when you are insecure about it.  Have someone say that you should have plastic surgery on your double chin.  Being told how to dress or how to act.  After awhile this takes a toll on you.  I will not allow someone else to take that much power again.

I don't trust people anymore.  I had always been one that trusted people maybe more then i should.  I guess i always looked at just the good in others.  This has affected me in many ways.  I have gotten myself in financial trouble trusting someone.  I have gotten my heartbroken not just once by the same person, but i would have to say twice.  I am moving on with my life, just with a whole new attitude.  So, here's to change and it being a good thing.

“We are more than we imagine ourselves to be.” — Veronica Chambers

Make sure you visualize what you really want, not what someone else wants for you. -Jerry Gillies

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

Overmedicated

The thing about being over medicated it is hard to recognize the signs or symptoms.  You might assume that if you are overmedicated, you would feel the opposite of hypothyroid; you think taking too much medication will make you feel energetic, or that you'll lose weight, and feel great. So, when you start to feel even more exhausted than usual, or achy and almost flu-like, or you even start gaining weight despite feeling jittery and anxious, you may not suspect that you are actually overmedicated.

How Do You Become Overmedicated? There are a number of ways you can become overmedicated.

• The dosage of thyroid hormone replacement that your doctor prescribed may be too high for you. Sometimes, doctors overestimate the dosage you will require to return to normal status and resolve symptoms.
• You may get an incorrect batch of medication. Pay particular attention to symptoms that develop after a recent pharmacy refill. Your pharmacist may have made a mistake in your medicine dosage.
• If you are taking generic levothyroxine (which most doctors do not recommend), in your last refill, you may have gotten a more potent batch. Even the slight change of potency from one refill to the next, particularly from one manufacturer of generic levothyoxine to another, can be enough to push you into hyperthyroidism.
• You may have started taking an over-the-counter supplement that includes animal thyroid (pay particular attention to "thyroid support," energy support and diet aids that include ingredients like "thyroid glandulars" or "adrenal glandulars" or "bovine glandulars" -- as these can introduce extra thyroid hormone into your system and make you hyperthyroid.
• You may be taking over-the-counter supplements that contain iodine, bladderwrack (fucus vesiculosus), kelp, bugleweed, Irish moss or seaweed. Too much iodine can aggravate the thyroid in some people.
• You may have recently changed your diet, affecting your absorption of thyroid hormone medication. For example, if you were eating high-fiber, and cut back on the fiber, you may be absorbing higher levels of thyroid medication.
• You may have recently stopped supplementing with iron or calcium. Since both substances can interfere with thyroid hormone absorption in some people, stopping them may increase the amount of thyroid available for absorption.
• If you've just lost a substantial amount of weight, but haven't changed your thyroid dosage, you may be getting too much medication.
• If you've just had a baby, the increased need for thyroid hormone during pregnancy drops, and the amount of thyroid hormone replacement you needed during pregnancy can become too high for the post-partum period, causing hyperthyroidism.
• If you've just had a baby, post-partum thyroid fluctuations may cause your thyroid to overfunction periodically, so the thyroid's own hormone production, when added to your thyroid hormone replacement, is temporarily causing hyperthyroidism.
• If you have Hashimoto's Disease, you may be in a period of fluctuation where the thyroid is overfunctioning and the thyroid's own hormone production, when added to your thyroid hormone replacement, is temporarily causing hyperthyroidism. 

I'm reading this an wondering is that what has been going on for the last week.  I have had many of the symptoms.  I try not to over think these things or self diagnose.  It could be as simple as the last reason my thyroid is producing the hormone on it's own.  So, it can just be a temporary case of hyperthyroidism.  I was told this could happen and i have read many articles on this happening.  I will wait a week or two.  I will see if the symptoms start to subside.  If they don't i will go get my thyroid tested again.

Overmedicated checklist

______ Elevated pulse and blood pressure _____  Anxiety, nervous energy, tremors, feeling jittery _____  Shaking hands, tremors ______ Feeling irritable, overemotional, aggressive, easily startled, or erratic ______ Difficult concentrating, mind is always racing, can't shut off thoughts ______ Difficulty sleeping, insomnia ______ Fatigue, exhaustion ______ Perspiring, feeling overheated, especially when others are cold ______ Diarrhea or loose bowels ______ Heart palpitations, feeling like heart is skipping a beat, or racing ______ Depression ______ Weight loss with no change to diet/exercise, or sometimes, paradoxically, weight gain ______ Increase in food intake, with no weight gain ______ Craving and/or eating more carbohydrates (bread, rice, pasta, sweets, fruits, sugary foods, etc.) ______ Unusual hunger pangs ______ Excessive thirst ______ Loss of appetite ______ Diarrhea, or frequent bowel movements ______ Hair loss ______ Changes to menstrual period (lighter, less frequent) ______ Enlarged, sensitive or tender neck ______ Dizziness, breathlessness ______ Achy or weak muscles and joints ______ Eyes are enlarging or looking "bug-eyed" ______ Dry, gritty, irritated, red eyes ______ Headache in eye area, pain behind the eyes I remember someone once saying to me why fake that everything is ok.  Why would you have to pretend?  It's not about wanting to pretend or faking my way through.  It sometimes is the way one needs to do things to get through a day when the illness wants to take over.  It's the best choice.  I find if i do this it soon isn't pretending or faking anymore.  The good mood takes over.  It reminds me of a quote that Meryl Streep once made:  "Guard your good mood."  

The more you focus on the words that uplift you, the more you embody the ideas contained in those words~Oprah

“We are more than we imagine ourselves to be.” — Veronica Chambers

Make sure you visualize what you really want, not what someone else wants for you. -Jerry Gillies

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein

I like to end the entries with some quotes that have touched me and inspired me.  We all can thinking of a time when words have affected us.  Words are very powerful whether we want to believe it or not.  So, before you speak, if at all possible take a minute to decide how it will affect you or the person you are speaking to.  I have said things in angry, in heat of the moment, and when i was hurt.  I try to edit what i say or think about it before i react.  It is up to each one of us to decide for ourselves.  Cause we can inspire, bring down, or just make a difference.