Change isn't such a scary thing

I have been through a lot of changes in the last 6 months.  I struggled with depression, kicked my ex out of my house, lost someone in my life, did a lot of work on my house, have my thyroid illness under control, lost weight i had struggled with, and was humiliated by someone i cared a lot about.  I'm still standing after all of that.  It may not seem like a lot, but i have to say it wasn't easy. 

I had to change a lot of my thinking.  I had to decided to take my illness more serious.  I went to the doctor and made them run more test.  Change some of my medication so that i would feel better.  I worked on losing weight which helped  with my illness as well.  My ex being out of my house also helped with the illness.  Stress can make it worse and him being gone has taken a lot of stress off me.  Him being gone also got me working on the house again and that took stress off too.

I go to therapy once a week.  The therapy has helped me with the understanding of the thyroid illness.  We talk about it and how i won't let it take over my life.  I allowed it to rule my life for far to long and it hurt far to much in my life.  So, this goes to show change isn't always scary it sometimes for the best.

The biggest change of all is my attitude towards myself and others.  I stopped believing in myself.  I don't remember when that happen, but i forgot how capable i am.  I know that i was to tired most of the time to fight back.  I couldn't fight my thought or others thoughts about me anymore.  When you have someone always in your face about the things you have done wrong or they feel you are doing wrong.  This tears you apart.  Have someone talk to you about your weight when you are insecure about it.  Have someone say that you should have plastic surgery on your double chin.  Being told how to dress or how to act.  After awhile this takes a toll on you.  I will not allow someone else to take that much power again.

I don't trust people anymore.  I had always been one that trusted people maybe more then i should.  I guess i always looked at just the good in others.  This has affected me in many ways.  I have gotten myself in financial trouble trusting someone.  I have gotten my heartbroken not just once by the same person, but i would have to say twice.  I am moving on with my life, just with a whole new attitude.  So, here's to change and it being a good thing.

“We are more than we imagine ourselves to be.” — Veronica Chambers

Make sure you visualize what you really want, not what someone else wants for you. -Jerry Gillies

Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein